Thursday, April 8, 2021

Blaming God

     I understand and believe in the saying, "Let go and let God." However, I do not believe it is the equivalent of excusing the evil deeds people literally choose to perform that some people seem to take it as.

     Just because God is loving, kind, and giving does not mean people can just act like idiots and psycopaths. People like to blame God all the time for the evil in our world when it is literally people doing these things.

     What really gets to me is atheists who pull this crap as well. "If God existed, bad things wouldn't happen." This makes zero sense at all. So instead of putting the blame on people where it belongs, they'd rather deny a powerful being of creation and think we're just an accident while also believing we have a purpose at the same time? It's a load of nonsense.

     People are evil. We are demons that infest this planet. We inherited this paradise and ruin it on a daily basis. But oh, no, "God wouldn't let bad things happen." I don't understand the full "test" of this world. It has made me lose my mind. But I do believe we are constantly tested. I could never blame God for wiping us out. We destroy the planet we live on as well as each other and for some currency we invented. It always comes down to that, money. Greed. The human "power" that comes with that.

     The worst part of it is that it's all done by choice. People choose to be this way. But sure, blame God for people choosing to be pieces of shit. That makes sense. (sarcasm)

     Something I find interesting is that I can understand people being hypocrites. With evil in power of this society, it's a hard world to live in. Not everybody sees that. I think that's both lucky and unfortunate for them. Ignorance may be bliss but it is also stupidity. The environment/s we grow up and live in is also a huge impact on how we view life in general. 

     As far as I can tell and have learned, the "western world" is the biggest problem when it comes to ignorance. Unawareness to the truth of all things because we are constantly lied to. I'm sometimes reminded that this planet is the "devil's playground." I've heard it a ton through my life but I never truly understood it until 2020. Evil has always been around... I remember through all of 2020 I kept thinking, "if this doesn't open people's eyes, nothing will." And here we are, a lot of people still insisting and choosing to be ignorant with the truth right in their face.

     I had been hopeless before in my life, not as completely as I am now. There's this weird natural part of me that can't help but believe and know people can be better. It feels impossible for americans. I've seen people around the world, how they speak, how they wish for peace and love for everyone including americans as our government literally invades, steals, bombs their countries and destroys their families' lives.

     Strength in the faith of God is an amazing thing. It's not the same for everyone and I think that's actually cool. Most believers or knowers have met God in different ways. I imagine none of us meet God the same way. I also feel bad for anybody that hasn't yet or did but didn't realize it. This world can be tricky that way especially when there is so much deception and hypocrisy.

     One of the biggest problems I've seen with people who struggle with belief or faith is that so many people claim to be religious who certainly don't actually act or think in a religious way. It's weird to me that so many american Christians pass judgement so easily. At the same time, I get it, I pass normal human being judgement all the time. If I think something is stupid, I judge it stupid, you know? The problem is the representation for those religions is often bad here in america. So many american Christians constantly express hateful and racist messages. Not all, of course. But it certainly is a huge reason why there is so much backlash.

     For me, I know God exists. I couldn't possibly deny it. I've seen so much, heard so much, have lived with and experienced God in a very real way. I am not worthy of this but I'm also grateful. I feel it's incredibly fortunate. It's also sad because I still struggle with many things as well. I don't know the word of God well enough. I've read lots of stories in the past but not actively or daily. I'm trying to get back into it.

     I'm also open to other religions. *gasp* From what I have seen, most religions try to teach very common things, love for one another being the biggest. I currently choose to believe that all the different religions refer to the same thing, whether they know it or believe it or not. I could be super wrong. I'm also open to that. I understand the whole "God is a jealous God" kinda thing. I get it, I think. I'd understand God being upset that people worship evil instead because they simply choose to.

     A lot of american Christians seem to forget a lot of very basic things. For example, they believe "leaders" are assigned and such. Which is fine and all I guess, but they treat someone like Donald Trump as a messiah rather than recognizing his evil. And pretty much the evil of every president the US has ever had in my lifetime. They seem to forget that just because someone is in a position of power does not mean that they are not evil. Like duh? But no, they seem to forget that part.

     I recently started reading Isaiah. It was one of many books recommended to me to get back into. God uses evil to crush evil before then crushing that evil. So just because God uses an evil leader to crush another evil does not mean he doesn't also crush the evil he used. It's pretty amazing and kind of hilarious in a scary but cool way.

     Thoughts and things like this among many others is why I came up with my most recent personal quote: "I love you and I hate you because of that." Two of my other mottos have been "it is what it is" (freaking Trump stole it), and "it can only get worse." Those two mottos were things I've thought and felt since I was a young teenager. The I love you one is very new, although, I have felt that way as well for a long time. I don't think I had ever put it into words before.

     I think I wanted to say more but I'm done for now. So, anyways, stop blaming God for bad things. You sound like an idiot.

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

hopelessness

I just really want to never exist again.

I want to stop being, feeling, caring, thinking.

Everything is pain. Every single thing. Even beauty, the lack of, missing, void, empty, seen but unheard. Felt but unwanted.

Rain of sorrow. Drowning.

forever going nowhere

visible light so far away, I'll never reach it and I've given up on trying

you are gone

wishfully happy, smiling

blinded by never-ending darkness

it doesn't matter